Listening is a Joyful Art
Deep listening is truly an art form.
Kicking off the holiday season with a whole lot of JOY and some meaningful conversations!
JOY CHOSE YOU
Joy does not arrive with a fanfare
On a red carpet strewn
With the flowers of a perfect life
Joy sneaks in
As you pour a cup of coffee
Watching the sun
Hit your favorite tree
Just right.
And you usher joy away
Because you are not ready for her
Your house is not as it should be
For such a distinguished guest.
But joy, you see
Cares nothing for your messy home
Or your bank balance
Or your waistline
Joy is supposed to slither through
The cracks of your imperfect life
That's how joy works.
You cannot truly invite her
You can only be ready
When she appears
And hug her with meaning
Because in this very moment
Joy chose you!
By Donna Ashworth
As we gather this holiday I hope for all of us that we fall into some deep and meaningful conversations with those we love.
Really good listening is a gift. Here's how to make that happen:
FOUR TYPES OF LISTENING
Level 1 - Downloading - Listening to re-confirm what we already know or believe. “Ya, I know that already.”
At this level of listening all we are doing is looking for information to confirm what we already know or expect. It’s like we’re skimming the news to confirm our beliefs, or skimming some instructions to confirm we know what we’re doing.
Level 2 - Factual Listening - Listening when it is something new to what we already know, we want, or need to learn something new.
At this stage we’re no longer just listening for the things we already know. Instead, we’re focused on learning the facts we don’t know. We’re keen to broaden our knowledge. We’re focused, inquiring and paying attention to the content of the conversation.
Level 3 - Empathetic - Stepping into someone else’s shoes to better understand context and intent. “Oh yes, I think I know how you feel.”
This kind of listening helps us feel understood, really listened to, and more connected. In this space of safety, we see increases in sharing, insight, and confidence to try new things and explore new topics.
Level 4 - Generative - This kind of curious listening takes on the mindset that we are connected to something larger than ourselves- opening up to new ideas and the best possible outcomes for the greater good. "How did that come about? Will you tell me more? Interesting!"
At this stage the listener often uses open-ended questions and starts to truly connect with the core ideas of the conversation. We are fully focused on the mutual engagement of the conversation, and our ego or any other barriers we carry are disappear.
Special thanks to original author of "The Four Types of Listening," Otto Scharmer
Sending you a heaping plateful of gratitude this Thanksgiving, and throughout the holiday season!